Okay so you are reading my tears right now, so heads up…
I had a rather emotional moment this AM I must be transparent about.
Early this AM I went online to craigslist the help a friend find something, while I was there, I happen to log in to my old account. Don’t know why, I just did. It’s kinda surreal how it happened actually but that is another post. The photo attached to this post instantly made me STOP DEAD in my tracks.
That lump swelled up in my throat, my body started to tingle, and tears began to stream down my cheeks. I was paralyzed for a moment.
I was completely overcome. I sat there staring at this pic for a while. Just lost in the raw emotions of my very own life.
What you see here is defining snapshot of my life just 5 short years ago.
It captures the pain of a couple fighting to make a way for their kids, a mom doing anything she could to find the next $10 to help, the struggles, the sleepless nights, the hard work for so little…. I could go on an on here about my emotions.
I am in awe. This was me. This was who I was.
I scraped and fought as a mom for 1000 different reasons but this one shows it so clearly. $5. I literally sold things on Craigslist for $5 to help my family.
What is so strange is I can feel every ounce of the emotion as if it were just yesterday. That $5 was so insignificant in the world, but to me, it meant reprieve and a moment of sanity.
You see, we had not “extra” money to go out to eat with. Our budget was set. So if I wanted to “treat” the kids to McDonalds and myself to 30 min of sanity, I had to sell things on Craigslist. Unreal, and yet so powerfully true.
My life is so changed and my missing is so very clear. I thank GOD from the rooftops that he blessed me with an opportunity to change my life.
I take that blessing as a calling to pass forward a changed life to as many moms out there in the world as I can.
This was me~ a mom struggling for $5 worth of sanity so I could treat my kids to a cheeseburger. A mom living her dream as a SAHM, yet lost in a struggle of life, loneliness, money, and bills.
I pledge to the world to never return to this struggle and to help as many moms out there overcome their struggles too.
Forever grateful and changed,